I think one of the aspects of the Indyref that makes it so bitter, is the inability of the Yes Campaign to accept multiple identities.
The Yes campaigners seem gripped by an idea that you can have only one ethnic identity, that determines various of your other views. I am tempted to call this a nineteenth century notion, since it really came into its own in the age of Romanticism when being (say) German was supposed to meld the kind of music you liked, your language, literature and even a mystic feeling for the soil. People in the actual nineteenth century may well have had a more flexible approach of the kind explored at the Common Cause exhibition.
However, Yes campaigners often seem to resent opinions from anyone who doesn't live in Scotland (except their own celebrity supporters of course), including people from the rest of the UK _ despite the obvious effects of a yes vote on those areas. I have also heard them express hostility to EU nationals within Scotland (who are entitled to vote) in terms worthy of any UKIP extremist. Even native born Scots living in Scotland who want a No vote get told they are not "true" Scots.
This is not the basis of a successful nation either inside or outside the Union.